“There was far more help than I could have imagined. So, if you can call it a good death, and people do talk about that, it was, absolutely.”
Ian and Jane retired to the Andover area after fulfilling careers. Here Jane tells their story.
“We had had a happy, good retirement and we did a lot of grandparenting, which was a real pleasure. We did some volunteering at the hospice in the old building. Never together but Ian learnt how to properly fill dishwashers for which I was very grateful!
Ian was a fit man. He had a cough but no more than that. Nothing serious. He got ill very suddenly but enjoyed a remission due to some very effective immunotherapy treatment. But when the cancer returned, we were determined he should spend his final days in the comfort of our home. We contacted the hospice and had a very preliminary conversation with Michelle, one of the community nurses. So, we were in your orbit but not with the expectation that anything was going to happen too quickly.
But in this final terminal period, he went down in sort of steps, plateaus we called them. When he needed it, he called the hospice again. Another of the community nurses, Becky, came. She arranged a daily half hour visit from the Home Care team. They were fantastic.
They really felt like our friends. We laughed a lot, and they were all admirable. The most helpful thing they did, initially whilst he still could, was to help Ian manage the shower. When he couldn’t do that, they would wash him in bed. So, that was a job I didn’t need to do. I wanted to, but I was there 24/7 and I didn’t know how long it was going to go on. My worst fear was that I wouldn’t have the strength or keep well to see it all through.
In the last two or three days we rang the hospice during the night to ask about the syringe driver. Two of them turned up. I couldn’t believe the amount of support from them all. Ian died on the bank holiday Monday in early May. He just slipped away in the middle of the day. Michelle was on duty and came and helped us at the end. There was far more help than I could have imagined. So, if you can call it a good death, and people do talk about that, it was, absolutely.”
Jane has kindly agreed for us to use her and Ian’s story as part of our annual fundraising appeal. If you’d like to support our appeal you can make a donation online or by calling the charity office and making a card payment over the phone.
